YOUR EGO, FRIEND OR SOMETIMES ENEMY?

The Ego, it’s a strange thing. We all have one. We may think we have it under control because everyone knows that too much ego can turn you into something you maybe don’t want to be. Ego is a word that comes from Latin and means ‘I’

Generally, the word is used for the identification of yourself when ‘I’ is the subject. But more often the word ‘ego’ is used for the identification of self with the wrong image. People talk for instance about a ‘big ego’ when a person thinks they are more important than others. Or when people believe that absolutely everything, they say is the truth, no matter what anyone else adds to the subject. Their own opinion is all that matters and nothing else. People are then called egocentric and people then talk about egoism, which is more related to greed for oneself. So, summarizing when ‘ego’ becomes the object instead of the subject then get ready, problems are on the horizon.

So, it is a bit of a double subject don’t you agree? On the one hand you talk about yourself which is quite normal but, on the other when it becomes oppressive or overwhelming, then it turns into something overpowering.

I have an example of course:  Over the years as a blogger, columnist and journalist and with a website with more than 1.5 million subscribers, I have a huge amount of ‘source’. When people comment on my blogs, which they do every day and I receive a huge amount over a week, someone always wants to share information with me about their own personal experience. Over the last couple of years, I have spoken a lot about romantic scammers and unfortunately been the subject of it myself a while back. I often pass the information on, when I feel it’s important to others, but under the strictest conditions that I never reveal my source. This is an unspoken agreement or rule in any form of journalism.

So, when you think you are doing your best and passing relevant information on and have built up a fairly good rapport with people then it comes as a huge shock when they react in an impolite (read rude here) way. After all you are just passing information and not gossiping. It is all and only for the greater cause for all the victims of scammers and to create more and more awareness. That is the whole point isn’t it by making subjects discussable and informing people in the hope that they will not become victims themselves. It is baffling that however much this subject is brought out into the open, that people still become victims. Forewarned is forearmed I feel.

But when ego comes into the equation, people who you think were really doing a marvelous helpful job for others, change. They don’t realize it themselves. It is the downside of becoming more well-known. This is on the one hand very good, but when the ego takes the upper hand then things go wrong….

Often this can be caused by something simple like being mentioned in a newspaper article. This is good that journalists research and write said articles and mention them as such for their involvement, but it is not then a ‘free pass’ to allow the ego to come into the equation. So, it’s the journalist, then the editor of said newspapers, like for example the Huffington Post, who bring these subjects to the attention of all readers using examples to make the point. Pretty normal don’t you think?

I passed on some information I had heard; I actually know the person being discussed and I wanted to point out that there are sometimes more sides to people than seems apparent at first. And of course, ensuring that your facts are right is important.

I was shocked by the very bitchy, rude reaction I got back and said so in no uncertain terms. Accusations of not ‘liking the retaliation’. What? And this is exactly what I mean can happen when ego’s take over. People change. They believe that everything they think or say is the truth. No matter what. Their ego has the upper hand and I wonder what is the solution? How do we control this?

This is then the moment when I think and decide I don’t need this crap in my life. I delete and break all contact and retire to the background. It is perfectly OK to have an opinion but make it a fair one. These people were (and still are) doing excellent work and helping many people across the globe with information about scams, but I am afraid I am done on this subject. Once and for all. I have written and said enough and with all the warnings, people should sit up and take notice of a very simple sentence: ‘DO NOT CHAT TO PEOPLE YOU DON’T KNOW PERSONALLY AND NEVER EVER SEND MONEY TO THEM’.

Journalists and factfinders base their stories on facts, information that is passed on to them. It is a bit of a twilight zone, where sources are never revealed because of privacy issues, but the intention is always to pass on facts for the greater good of all.  That was certainly my intention and it was sad that they accused me of things that were simply wrong. But there you go, as I said in the beginning, the ego is necessary, but it is important to keep it under control.

It is their loss not mine as I will never contact them again!

Image: Google

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Jill Kramer

Hi! I'm Jill and I'm a passionate author of books, short stories, columns and blogs.

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