No one likes to be criticized! Let’s be honest. And people do it all the time, intentionally or unintentionally. It is not nice and can be painful. I know already that the ‘new age’ spiritually inclined readers will be jumping up and down, saying that criticism is all about mirroring something back to you, your shortcomings, or faults. But my point is how do you deal with this, and I have based this blog on a personal experience.

Now just suppose the criticism becomes an accusation about something, immediately the hairs on the back of your neck will rise up and your first emotion will be hurt, offense and then anger followed by basically wishing they had never said anything at all. As I type the famous line from Walt Disney’s Bambi comes to mind when Thumper says:

‘If you can’t say nothing nice about anybody, don’t say nothing at all.’

Good advice! I have used this example before in my blogs and remember this is a children’s’ film (in other words teaching children!)

One side of criticism is that, if it is genuine and helpful, you can accept it in a much more constructive way, than when someone unjustly criticizes you. Right? The aforementioned can assist you long term to maybe take another approach, look at and do things differently and then in my mind, this is positive. And even helpful.

I don’t really want to mention all the horrible comments that appear on social media in this blog, but these are really good examples of unhelpful criticism, when the writer of the said comments thinks it is a freefall to ‘bitch on’ something alarming about someone else and virtually be very unkind. And even worse if they don’t know the person personally.

Unjust criticism is not good. Being accused of something that some random person thinks you have done wrong. Even said with the best intention is probably better left unsaid. As you all know I am a writer, and this week I was accused of doing my translation work using Google Translate. As if, come on … I found this very insulting indeed. Almost slanderous and people have been taken to court for airing such comments in public. It did make me cross, and it was unacceptable. But on reflection I could easily conclude that it was definitely untrue and said by someone who does not even know me. My advice to said person would be, shut up and go away. But you will all no doubt recall that in some bad cases people are very definitely sued in court for deformation of a person’s character. The British royals spring to mind as I write.

I also concluded that I had done a good translation job when it came to this project, but at the same time, it is not my job to ghost write or re-write someone else’s work, unless having been asked to do that. So, in this way, hurt and confusion arise and your self-confidence gets a big dent. Or does it? Are you strong enough to think that you know you did your best and maybe the whole point here is, that the original text was not good in the first place. Now that is food for thought, isn’t it? That for example the original text was badly written in the first place?

It was certainly a lesson for me, and I said outright that such comment was totally unacceptable and to stop. Saying something critical to someone is not being passed on in a loving way. On the contrary, it is insulting and better not said.

So, my thoughts today are, a couple of days later, that we all maybe should stand still and think twice before criticizing anyone. Are your comments helpful or cruel? Yes, have a think about this. Constructive comments (and read here not criticism, helps). Unkind, and definitely untrue comments do not. Simple as that.

Think before you speak. That is a good point to begin and maybe choose your words carefully. People are highly sensitive these days anyway and unkind comments or criticism is not helpful at all. The end result can even go so far that you think you never want to cross paths with this person every again. That is not the right attitude really but understandable. 

The times in which we live are supposed to be those when we are loving and kind to one another. Being constructive and helpful. Always.

I hope that this short blog helps you too if you have been unjustifiably criticized ever. Think about Thumper and what he said and remember this, is the person who said it worth it?

Should you give their comment any attention or literally brush it to one side and think, well if that is what they think it is their problem. Not easy, but I feel you can do it if you have the gut feeling that is unkind, untrue, or downright rude (this made me think of Miranda Hart, a very funny English comedian, who often says: ‘Rude!’)

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Jill Kramer

Hi! I'm Jill and I'm a passionate author of books, short stories, columns and blogs.

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