CONFUSED WHO ISN’T ? part 2

Last summer I wrote a number of blogs with a friend, because he had such interesting things to say and such good advice and during a recent conversation about the state of affairs in the world, some more ‘advice’ came to the surface which I would like to share with you.

This person is extremely well-known and virtually the entire world follows his every move, that it why I will keep the source anonymous because it is about reading the words in this blog and not reading it just because of his fame. Behind every famous person, the real one is often not in the spotlights or on the world stage. Just think about that. They too have their own problems and worries, just like the average man or woman, or even child in the rest of the world. Often people expect them to play a role continually, but it doesn’t work that way at all. This is a fellow human being who struggles with the same things that we all do, and I think these words are very inspiring. I will write in bold italic script when I get to it.

When you look back recently, we as humans have been seriously challenged. Things we took for granted have now be put in an entirely different light. Simple things like shopping, going out for a meal, meeting friends for a drink in a bar … yes all of that and suddenly we were restricted and basically ordered to stay indoors in our own little bubble. That meant not even being able to visit family, particularly parents and grandparents. When in your life have you ever been told that? 

It was strange for all of us to suddenly have a life which was dictated by others. Experts who suddenly appeared out of nowhere and knew how we should all behave. Political leaders became rulers (read here dictators) and we all succumbed to it, often not questioning the facts, but just doing as we were told. Now a little discipline in the world is not wrong, we need it or at least some people do, but we suddenly all became part of a herd of sheep, nodding and doing what we were told. And we were confused. Confused and frustrated. Under pressure, not having a free choice and it was almost like being launched back in time to dictatorship regimes. And we did not like it at all.

So, how do we make a change, or make a choice? Suddenly things became easier and this last week has seen, rules and regulations re-applied just as we were getting used to our new freedom. That was a bitter pill to swallow and many people are basically fed up to the back teeth of having to live this way. Haven’t we been hearing for years from spiritual leaders and inspirers, that we should follow our heart? Dare to make changes and choices? Give our souls the freedom they so desired? Exactly ! 

So, when you live your life in the spotlights, like my friend, everyone expects something from you all the time. You almost live your life with a permanent mask because the press and spotters are very cruel and one wrong move hits the headlines like a tornado. How do you cope? How to you even manage to keep certain parts of your life on a personal level, but at the same time, thrilling your fans, because after all they are the ones who help to put you in the spotlights in the first place. They ensure that you become almost a household name and appear literally everywhere all around the world with expensive partnerships for watches, perfumes etc. You become, whether you like it or not, the example that many want to follow. Many are jealous when they see the luxury lifestyle you have, but behind the scenes it may not be the rosy, pink little cloud that we are often led to believe.

And then, boy are you confused or what?

He said:

Be strong and smile at life even though it hurts sometimes ….

And it does hurt whether you agree or not, because restriction causes pain.

I always try to be amazing. Strong and smart. But the most important thing is to be myself.

Yes, it is, because no matter what is happening to you or happening in your surroundings, the moment you take on a role and stop being yourself, then you know the confusion starts big time. You begin to wonder if you can actually live your truth and be authentic? Can you? Or does the world determine this making you merely a puppet whose strings are pulled by the masses? That is an awful way to live and you may disagree with me, saying the wealth, fame, glamour and glitz is all worth it, mainly because we may want that for ourselves, but remember glitter fades. Wealth disappears in today’s economic climate. Fans are fickle when someone younger, better and more appealing appears on the scene and we all could probably write a list of people we looked up to who maybe are no longer here, or we hear nothing about anymore. True?

Small minds cannot compromise big spirits. To be great you have to be willing to be mocked, hated and misunderstood. The only thing is to stay strong. You know sometimes a smile does not mean that a person is happy. Sometimes, it means that they are strong enough to face their own problems. Right?

Big spirits mean power and power on the one hand can create fear when used in the wrong way, but when you have power as a person, it is purer. And so right, often we all play the role or wear a mask to hide our true feelings and then people don’t ask too many awkward questions. I mean if someone asks you: ‘How are you?’ Do you answer truthfully and tell them perhaps that you are finding things hard, or you are overtired or overwhelmed, or do you take the easy way out and just answer: ‘Everything is fine thanks’. Even when you know it is not. A smile can be alluring but also hides the truth.

Every pain makes us stronger, each betrayal more intelligent, every disappointment more skillful and each experience wiser.

Sometimes things go wrong so that we can grow strong. Sometimes things go bad so we can grow better.

It is certainly true that we learn lessons from things that maybe just don’t go the way we want them to. I mean if you make a mistake and it costs you dearly, then you will not make the same mistake again. This could even go so far as losing your trust in someone. Do you then make the right choice to break away? Or do you just keep accepting it? This is life. You make your choices and you don’t have to explain why to anyone, only yourself. You are not accountable to others.

You are only given the life you are strong enough to live and if one day you don’t feel strong enough, then you are given friends. I am strong because I know my weaknesses. I am alive because I am a fighter. I am wise because I have been foolish. I laugh because I know my own sadness.

I think this is (or was) an important part of our discussion because it is all about being humble enough to accept that everything is not that perfect all of the time, even if the illusion you create gives that impression. Friends are so important and by this, I mean real true friends and not hangers on. Fortunately, I am not confronted in my life by hangers-on because I lead a quiet normal life. I don’t stand in the spotlights continually. It is not that I am afraid to stand up and say what I think and if needed in front of everyone. I have my values, my truths, my beliefs and my choices are made based on that. I have an example which perhaps makes this easier to understand: How do you deal with a so-called friend if they virtually cut you off and ignore you. The answer is painful but simple, I think. They are not really a friend, just a saboteur who crosses your path for their own good. Personally, I think I can count my real friends on one or two hands. People that I know will be there if I need them and then a lot of your so-called friends, acquaintances, colleagues, even family for that matter, fall to the wayside. Saboteurs are challenges. They come across your path either to confront or mislead. The best way is often to step aside, let them pass and then continue on your journey. Your own journey and not a journey that others expect of you.

But it is not always negative, as I have described above because:

I try to be thankful for every person in my life, past, present and future because in the end they will make me stronger, kinder, wiser and they are in fact, the people that make me who I am today.

You remember a couple of weeks ago I wrote a blog about gratitude is attitude? This really applies here. On the one hand some people are the saboteurs but on the other and its important here to look on the positive side, but all the people you encounter and certainly like-minded souls, help you to grow. That is what we all came here to do in the first place. Grow. Some roads, as I have said many times before are bumpy others are smooth. But each experience, each person, each spoken word, each thought all has an influence on how you grow as a human in this present world.

So, even if you are feeling frustrated by how things are going at the moment on the world stage, remember that everything is always happening for a reason. Sometimes this is hard to comprehend especially when things happen like natural disasters, or people are killed, or people are fighting and demonstrating on the street for their rights. 

It is confusing for all of us. The only advice I think is relevant is that you be yourself always. If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it. Don’t stay in a sticky web that continually brings you down and in the wrong place. Be the person who dares to stand up and stick up for what you believe in.

From confusion to clarity. We may not fully comprehend it all right now, but when you maybe look back, you will know that it happened for a reason and it helped you to become who you are today. So that you know the reason why you are here and what you came to do?

You don’t have to be a well-known person or stand in the spotlights to do this. Radiate your own personal light, this benefits everyone in the end. Especially you!

Images: Google

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Jill Kramer

Hi! I'm Jill and I'm a passionate author of books, short stories, columns and blogs.

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