What a strange title you may be thinking. First of all better start with an explanation of the expression ‘Porky Pies’.

Years ago and probably still to this day, in certain parts of London (the east in particular), they speak a local dialect called ‘Cockney Rhyming Slang’. The idea is that you give something a name that rhymes with something else. For those of you who have visited places like Portobello Road and the Docklands (despite the fact that it is a very trendy place to live these days), may or may not have seen the Pearly Kings and Queens. An old tradition where men and women dress up in black suits covered with pearl buttons.

Yes, probably you are now thinking something along the lines – always thought the English were strange! Maybe so, but it is just a tradition. This dialect is complicated and even for native speakers, like me, hard to understand. You just have to use your imagination…

So if you think about what you would think a’ whistle and flute’ might be, well I will help you it’s a suit. You would say to someone that you like their ‘whistle and flute’ if they appear in a new suit. Same goes for someone who might say ‘I’ll take the apples and pears’ which means stairs. As opposed to going up in a lift for example.

Anyway, that it the theory behind cockney rhyming slang! One of my favourites is then ‘porky pies’. Not only do I love Melton Mowbray Pork Pies, which is a delicious pie with a water crust pastry and filled with pork and a sort of jelly snack and so typical in England, but ‘porky pies’ can also be lies.

And so this week, the news in Holland has hit the world stage. One of our politicians, well our Minister of Foreign Affairs (Halbe Zijlstra) to be exact has been caught out telling ‘porky pies’ (lies). It is not so much about what he said, but more about the fact that he said something that has made him the laughing stock of the entire world. How can a Minister in such a position be taken as credible when he just tells lies? This actually happened in 2016 and it was not something that was so terrible, just a silly stupid mistake that someone with his education and upbringing should have known better.

Of course we all love to exaggerate. This is something a bit different. Think about anglers when out fishing, they love to tell a little untruth about the size of the fish they caught, bigger than anyone has ever seen or even exists in some cases. This is harmless. It is also considered to be ok to tell a ‘little white lie’ to maybe a dear friend who asks you if you like their new car, new house, new dress or such like and you think it is awful, but for the status quo, you may say, ‘er yes its lovely’ when you might preferred to have used the word ‘ghastly’. You just don’t want to hurt their feelings so you take the easy way out.

Well said Minister of Foreign Affairs suddenly found himself in the position that the only way to get out of a very embarrassing situation was just to resign. Strange but true. There was no way back, once you have lost your credibility in the world that is it. No one will ever believe another word you say. And the World Press had a hay-day about it, not to mention the numerous jokes on social media. Would you ‘Adam and Eve’ it? (Believe it?)

But don’t feel sorry for him, it was after all his own fault and by the way, even though he has resigned and become jobless, he will be able to survive on a huge amount of money every month he receives from the authorities, just because he was a Politician.

Seems a bit unfair doesn’t it when you compare it to people who lose their jobs in industry and spend years literally scraping the barrel to survive?

I wonder what Halbe Zijlstra’s ‘trouble and strife’ thought about it all? (Try and work this one out for yourself!


Gold, Gold and more medals …

This year for some reason, I have been watching several live broadcasts from the Winter Olympics 2018. Wow, what a start, an amazing Opening Ceremony, with spectacular things, like the 1200 drones flying simultaneously and forming the five Olympic rings in the air!

But yesterday saw the start of the skating. I used to skate when I was a girl. Went every Saturday for lessons at Richmond Ice Rink (UK), whilst my parents did their weekly shopping. I actually got quite good, but this is not speed skating or doing long laps around the rink, this is more ice skating in the form of dance, jumps, pirouettes and such like. Shame I never took it any further.

When I arrived in Holland in 1977 I was introduced by a colleague to skating on natural ice outdoors. I remember one weekend, when the ice was particularly good, she asked me to come with her on the so-called ‘ Windmill Tour’ near to where I lived. Well, yes, I can skate and I have skates, so got them sharpened and off we set one Sunday morning. There is something quite special about skating on natural ice and also the more stops you make for warm chocolate milk with a dash of rum, the better you get. It was such fun.

I remember the next morning I could hardly get out of bed. My muscles were aching all over my body. I suppose it had been a bit optimistic to get out on skates, for the first time in years, and then do a 30 km tour. I hobbled into the office hoping that I could sit down the majority of the day and allow my poor limbs to recover.

This is the reason why I have a lot of admiration for the Dutch top skaters. They follow rigorous regimes of training all year around, summer and winter there is no respite at that level.

So yesterday was the 3000 m for women and several top Dutch competitors. A surprise win by an outsider by it gives you a feeling of pride (even though I don’t originate from Holland but have lived here now for 44 years) when all the three competitors step up for the medal ceremony and this tiny little country has the top 3 world places.

This morning was the turn of the men, Sven Kramer (we have the same surname, just by chance) and he won his third Olympic Gold medal and set a new Olympic record. (5000m) What an achievement.

I was watching the ‘short trackers’ too. Another medal (silver) for Holland for his achievement in a very tough and busy group.

Yes it is moments like this that make the people of Holland very proud. You can spot them all the time amongst the crowds, always dressed Orange (the national colour), with funny hats and the King and Queen are with them too, having equally as much fun.



According to our weathermen and women, this week was going to be a cold wintery week. It has been in some parts of the country, snowfalls and severe night frosts. But sunshine during the day and it was so lovely after weeks of wind and rain, to see blue skies and sun again. It is almost like a tonic.

Winter even though it is in some ways a beautiful time in nature and very necessary too, but if I have to be honest, roll on Spring. There is something special about having the feeling that finally after the short days and longer nights, that Spring is finally in the air.

This week I have been out a bit more than usual. My new book is finally finished and now with someone else, for a very important edit and spelling/grammar check and because the weather was good, I have been out and about. Went off cycling forgot to take a hat and ended up with ears like beetroots. It is cold for sure; there is an easterly wind, but sun!

Today the wind has died down completely and I can only say the sun feels warm on my face as I am out and about. Just lovely, as if it is wakening up my skin after weeks of being more indoors than usual and in my case because I was writing this book, behind my laptop all day, every day. It feels incredibly good.

Earlier today I was talking to someone about ‘carpe diem’. In other words, take each day as a gift and make the very most of it. I agree and days like today certainly remind you of this.

We spend so much time normally carping on about this and that, but how often do we go into nature and literally reveal in its beauty? When was the last time you did that?
When was the last time you either cycled to work (if this is possible) or walked somewhere instead of going by car? When did you last have your lunch break say, in a park or somewhere peaceful or beautiful?

Nature just gets on with its process; it follows the natural cycles (influenced by each season) and generally takes each and every day as it comes. As an opportunity to grow.

We should do the same! Pleased to read in the newspapers this morning that the Euro parliament are making a decision today about stopping the changing of the clocks in Spring and Autumn. Hoorah, at long last. It takes me personally weeks to adjust and why should we just because someone came up with the idea. We should not interfere in natural rhythms or time.

Whatever you are doing right now, take a break, go out into the fresh air if you can. If the sun is shining, just tilt up your head and allow its rays to warm your skin.

Spring is on its way! Spring is in the air!

NOTE: This was a blog having a trial run, as I have been asked to write a weekly column of max. 500 words. Oh that is hard for me being a write to try and condense something into so many words, but having been inspired today by the beautiful weather and guess what? Exactly 500 words!!



I want to start this blog today with the final words from the book ‘Living in the Heart’ by Drunvalo Melchizedek. Because I have read the final pages or chapter this morning.
This is not a book you have to read to understand, but read to feel, that is crystal clear to me now.

‘You may say I am a dreamer, but I am not the only one,
perhaps some day you will join us, and the world will live as one’
John Lennon

I can remember this song from my youth. I was a little girl in England when the Beatles were at the height of their popularity. They had a new sound, which took the world by storm.

I actually wonder as I sit here typing, am I literally capable to saying something really meaningful about this book and its effect on me. I have been writing since I was a child, so it is not so much about knowing what I want to write, it is more about finding or feeling the words.

Even though we may be all under the impression that we live anno 2018 in a fast moving techno/scientific world, we are actually really living almost in the dark. Compared to the knowledge of the first nations’ people (or in other words our forefathers) we have not even begun to understand the meaning of creating and co-creation properly yet.

Let me try and explain.

Virtually everything we do comes from thought in the mind. Our rational thinking. We have a question and we find an answer but this comes in the form of duality that is just the way we think and have been taught to think since our childhood. For every problem we have to have a solution. In other words and I will try and keep this simple, because in fact it is complex, we think in dark and light, the two opposites. That is why often you hear the expression ‘both sides to one coin’. That is how the rational brain (mind) works and even to this day, scientists and medics do not fully comprehend how our brain works. We are in agreement however, that there are two sides to the brain and different functions in different places.

Our forefathers thought differently. From their heart. They did not have access to the vast amounts of knowledge that we think we have now. We do on the one hand, but on the other, we really have no idea. Sorry if this sounds a complete contradiction, it is, but my point is because we think from our mind, we think in a rational way, backed up by vast quantities of knowledge, whereas our forefathers followed their natural instinct and felt from the heart. They knew deep down inside what was right and acted accordingly. Whereas we try to go through enormous amounts of reasoning.

Last night, as I went to bed, I had decided earlier in the day that I was going to try the ‘Unity Breath Meditation’. I have done several types of meditation for many years and it is up to every single person how you actually do this, we all have our own methods. This is a meditation, which involves three parts. Strange (or not) that I had actually written this in my blog yesterday. It was almost as if my heart was actually working faster than my mind. It knew where the book was going.

Lying down in bed, I asked myself ‘is this going to work?’ Totally wrong mind-set because if you plant that thought before you even start, then don’t waste any more time it won’t. So I got up, walked about a bit, looked out up at the stars in the sky from my window and then had a second attempt. I had no expectation, just to go with the flow and see what happened. Within seconds, following the guidelines I made the connections first of all with Mother Earth, then Father Sky (and you need to read the book yourself to fully grasp what this is all about) and then with myself being the child and third party. You have to think about it more as a game, which is fun, than an exercise. Within seconds I felt the connection.

Then I could move on and how to make the actual connection into the sacred space within my heart. It will be totally different for each and every person who tries this themselves, it is a very personal experience, but to me it felt like coming home. As if everything I have thought for all of my lifetimes is there, all stored in one sacred personal space. And it will be different for each and every one of you, because your own sacred place stores other things than mine.

I was in such a deep meditation or dream state I fell asleep and had all sorts of dreams during the night. A lot of which were familiar and a lot of which I have forgotten. Time, space and distance play absolutely no role in this dream state.

This morning I woke up and it all felt very different. I actually find it very hard to try and explain in what way, just that it was different and then of course the question came into my mind, what if I am able to actually heal my heart myself? This is quite a prospect and would this literally be possible? Sceptics will probably stop reading right now I suspect.

However, the book has taught me that there is something you have to realize before you even attempt something as big as this and that is: you have to give attention and intention to whatever it is to what you want to heal, and then combine this into the mental, emotional and physical body (so here is the reference to 3 coming up again).

You have to understand the difference between the feeling of logic versus feeling and emotion. I want to actually quote a few lines from the book, as maybe it will make it easier to understand. This is from the final chapter ‘Creating from the Mind’

If you are praying to be healed, your attention could be fully on the disease, your intention could be that the disease is healed; your mind could know that your body is either healed or going to be healed, and your emotional body could be feeling the emotion. Say joy – just as if your body is completely healthy, but as long as the last and third part has not been engaged, nothing will happen.

What is the reason then? This is because the third and final part has not been brought into the equation. This part is the forgotten part and is the actual physical body.
This is not talking about the mental pattern or conscious searching in the physical body but it means having actual body sensations in which you feel that your physical body is responding. You cannot feel any more pain; instead you feel vitality in the area of the body you are focussing on. Health and beauty in your body, which is all to do with the words I wrote above:


Mental Body
Emotional Body
Physical Body

It is complicated, I agree, but that is the mind talking and not you feeling from your heart. This is information that we all know, but have forgotten and it is all about finding a method to awaken this once more.

I was right when I thought that I had to read this book. Not so much read it as I have said earlier but just feel it. This is absolutely the right time, no doubt to remind myself of the powers within and what I can create or co-create when the mind set (the five items listed above) is completely in balance.

The only recommendation I have for you reading this blog is, buy the book and feel it yourself. It’s the only way!

I also want to acknowledge the quotes from the book (in italics) and say that these are words from Dunvalo Melchiedek, not me.

He makes the point several times that each and everyone of us will experience this in different ways, his way and what he felt, my way and what I felt and when you read it yourself, your experiences might and probably will be totally different yet again.

To say that this book is a masterpiece is putting it mildly. Strangely it is not a book that has just been published; it was actually released in 2003.

2003 was a strange year for me; it was the year that I fell whilst out walking with my dogs at the beginning of February and broke my left leg in four places. How I did it, I never knew, but this was a moment when I was literally stopped in my tracks and I had lots of painful operations and it took many years to fully recover. Looking back this was the greatest learning period of my life, because I could literally do nothing; just moving about was incredibly painful and I actually had to learn to walk again, step by step. This was the time, when the only thing I was doing was reading, learning and working on my laptop when I could sit for long enough periods. It was a really tough time, believe me, but in the end and many years later it became crystal clear how important this period was. How absolutely totally appropriate that this book dates from the same time!

I hope you are sufficiently inspired to order it and read it, or should I say, feel it?



Since my blog earlier this week, I am now a bit further in reading the book ‘Living in the Heart’ by Drunvalo Melchizedek.

In one word – ‘mind-blowing’!

Normally a book of this size is something I can easily read in one single day (118 pages) but this is a book that you have to read in stages. Automatically you seem to reach a moment where you just want to shut your eyes, allow the information to sink in, or come to the surface, because my general impression is so far, this is information that was already within, I just needed a reminder, bring it up to the surface. I really feel that the way Drunvalo M had written this book (and he actually says from the heart and not the mind) is that he is inviting you to read, but at the same time reflect, digest and think about it.

Even though a lot of people in the lifestyle of today (in other words rushing from one thing to the next and being pressured about everything) often do not give themselves the gift of actually sitting down and perhaps either doing nothing or just reading something other than work related information.

We have literally all forgotten the power within. We are much too busy performing, ensuring that we have material possessions; because in today’s society this is the way we are judged. If we have nothing we are looked upon as perhaps being a ‘misfit’.

But what about all those gifts we all have within? Why don’t we think about them anymore? In the book Drunvalo talks about ancient civilisations, our forefathers, and the way that they could communicate across land and oceans. They did not need an Iphone or a laptop or wifi! Have a think about that for a moment, it is all about the projection of thoughts from the heart, not the mind.

In a lot of ancient civilizations they have proved time and time again that they were much more connected with the universe and its energy than we are today. Yes, we are making technological and scientific progress all the time. We all can see that in our lifetimes right now – it almost changes daily, but what about the laws of the universe itself. That is the planet we actually live on and why are we ignoring the information within. If you like me, have a lot of friends or family, or colleagues or acquaintances who you would describe as ‘like-minded’ then it is probably quite easy to have a conversation on this subject with them.

People in general are becoming more spirituality aware. They are questioning the facts and really coming to the belief (at long last!) that there is more between heaven and earth and vice versa. After all nature has survived much longer than the human race itself, living in accordance with Sacred Geometry and universal laws and still continues to do so to this day.

Let me give you an example. A simple one. Many of you who have gardens probably spend a lot of time either removing or trying to kill weeds. You go to great lengths for the perfect lawn, the bright and beautiful borders, so weeds have to go! But have you taken a moment and noted that they always come back in the same place. They can grow in cracks and crevices where a normal flowering plant would not. Almost as if they defy the rules (well the garden ones!). This is just a very simple example, but have a little think about it.

Have you ever asked yourself why our forefathers built certain buildings in special places? Why? Well simple, they lived in those times according to the laws of the universe and felt the energy that we have long forgotten. They built sites (sacred and otherwise) in places where they felt the energy was correct. It was a feeling that they had from deep within. Think about places like Stonehenge for example, literally thousands of years old, still standing today (no one has ever come up with the idea of removing it to build a new motorway for example) and people flock to see it because they want to feel that energy. Even just for a few hours, just one day, they want to connect back in with the flow there. Same applies to places like the pyramids in Egypt or the temples along the Nile. We cannot rationally explain either how they were able to build them or why they were built there in the first place, apart from the fact that our forefathers consulted the stars in the skies, their position, the moon (even though they had no specific scientifically proven knowledge at the time). They just followed their ‘gut feeling’ and got on with it and that is why similar sacred sites are still here today anno 2018, literally thousands of years after they were built. It’s quite amazing isn’t it when you think about it?

Another thing that interests me on this score is the planting of crops according to the position of the moon, the stars and such like. Even today, companies like Weleda (a Swiss company) still plant their herbs and flowers used in products and medication according to this. Oils are often mixed by literally swishing them around in vessels in a figure of 8 movement (the endless lemniscate). Now we are literally seeing today the return of ancient grain and the increasing popularity of spelt.

People in general are much more interested in the food they eat and that it is produced biologically. The genetically modified trend is no longer a trend; we have all realized thank goodness that this is not right. Food that grows in natural conditions without all sorts of pesticides sprayed over it, just tastes better and we prefer to wait until things are actually in season these days as opposed to products raised under artificial lighting in greenhouses and believe me we have loads of them here in Holland. But does it taste the same? No.

But I am diversifying so back to the book.

Drunvalo talks a lot about the natural psychic gift we all have and when studies were done all over the world, it turns out that a lot of present day children have this gift naturally and are remembering how to use it. That is a good prospect. Blind people can actually ‘see’ when they use other intuitive senses. I have always believed this mainly because my own Godmother, Vicky Wall, made her coloured Aura Soma bottles when she was clinically blind. She could see the colours perfectly through other ways. Someone I know can actually hear the sounds of colours!

So all in all I am really glad that this article came to my attention through social media. I just knew, I have to read this book and immediately.

I have nearly finished and I can only say, it all makes so much sense. In moments when I close my eyes to think about the words I have just read it is just as if the confirmation comes automatically. As if a little voice inside me says, see you can do this too, you have just forgotten how. We all spend far too much time in our minds, and it is important to do the same in the heart. Your heart tells you the complete truth, free from frills and fancies, it tells you perhaps something you already knew and had forgotten or it sheds a new light on a subject that might be asking you a lot of questions. Things like, who am I, what did I come here to do, do I literally do the things that make me happy (away from obligations which we all have). Do I really deserve it (of course) and can I manifest my dreams (yes you can).

I shared this article with my own cardiologist (in view of the fact that soon we will be actually talking about an operation on my own heart) and this morning he said, of course I know there is more between heaven and earth, but as a professional researcher and objective medical person, I have to act in that way. To a point, yes I agree, but what if you could combine the two? What if scientists and medics could do both? What would be the outcome? Would they be more able to communicate with their patients and understand illnesses for example, if they could literally communicate with the heart too and not just write another prescription or perform an operation? What if we all realised we can do this too?

It is food for thought isn’t it?

So today I will read on and this blog will be continued yet again in a third part. I actually like the significance of writing a third part because to me this signifies the trilogy, the famous three parts of a triangle. The Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost. The mother, father and child and so on.

To be continued …



I have written so many blogs and articles about the heart, my heart and still the inspiration is flowing. Hence this new blog today. 1st February, the day after massive lunar happenings in the sky all of which would you believe it, happened in my star sign Leo, at 11 degrees. This is also an 11-year (which I wrote about earlier). So you can safely say, literally everything was in place for something really amazing!

Every since my very early youth, a group of women pledged themselves to be part of not only my normal upbringing but also my growth on the path of spirituality. As a child I could clearly see auras of colour around people. When I started school at the age of 5 I would often paint people in clouds of colour because that is what I actually saw. The other children in the class made fun of me, thought I was different and eventually I pushed this huge gift right back into the depths of my being. I felt embarrassed about it at that age!

It was several years later that I tapped back into this gift, when in my own life, spirituality and the meaning of life itself, became incredibly important to me.

I suppose the first thing that happened was that at the age of 20 I had a Near Death Experience. During an operation on my own heart I completely left my physical body and crossed over ‘to the other side’ as they say. I remember the experience well, it was incredibly beautiful and I met people there who had a special meaning for me. I have written about this before and this is not really the point of this blog anyway.

Just by chance (as is always the case) I came across something on social media about ‘Living in the Heart’ and a book by Drunvalo Melchizedek. Drunvalo M has spent more than 40 years of his life studying the Mer-Ka-Ba and Sacred Geometry. The article went on to talk about the fact that many heart surgeons around the world are now confirming that there is a special place in the heart, a sort of secret space if you like, which defines the point where you are closest to your creation moment (or if you are religious, with God).

The Mer-Ka-Ba is the life force around the human body. Shaped like a six-pointed star of energy it links up the energy centres (in the main the intuitive senses). Sacred Geometry is the building block of everything that exists in life. Humans, plants, trees, animals, everything is built up in that way. (see my blog on The Clairs for more information).

In ancient times the indigenous peoples (or first nations’ people, like The Hopi, Aboriginals, Maoris) all over the world were so much more connected to this theory. In their so-called ‘dreamtime’ or ‘dream state’ they could communicate with one another.

So here we are now in 2018 and scientists and medics are actually confirming that in our heart is a special place. Probably something the ancient civilisations knew centuries ago.

Personally I have felt this myself. I was always aware of a sort of vortex of energy, like a ring of lines, almost like a grid, which not only comes from but also encircles the heart. This vortex can be up to anything as big as three meters in diameter. Now an aura is more egg-shaped like peaking at the top above the crown, built up from layers. That is the way I see it.

The colours are different in the layers (you can see this in Kirlian photography) and the aura changes all the time depending on the energy state of the person themselves. It can be big and fluffy like a huge burst of colour all around you (still see that same egg-shape) or it can literally be as flat as a pancake and hardly visible. You can see clearly moments when emotions take the upper hand. Like anger for example, when a person is really angry, the aura will actually almost ‘spit’ out shards of colour. When, on the other hand, someone feels incredibly happy and loving, pink then becomes the dominant colour of the aura. A conductor from an orchestra also shows spirals of colour coming from the aura as he conducts. It is the connection to the music, the harmony of all the instruments together and the emotion that often is associated with music, which creates this effect.

I am standing on the verge within the next few weeks about making a decision on surgery again in my heart. Even though I feel completely at ease and trust my own cardiologist totally, there have been doubts in my mind during the past few weeks. It was of course the reason why this article crossed my path from social media and the reason that I instinctively knew that I had to read this book, and sooner rather than later. It arrived by post yesterday from an online book site.

Yesterday evening, I started to read it, and got to page 16 (so the first chapter) and suddenly my eyes almost closed automatically. I was not asleep, but more in a state or dreamtime (like the ancient civilisations did centuries ago). Even though the beginning of the book is quite technical and goes into how it is possible to cleanse the air, in other words removing all forms of pollution. It may seem a strange way to start a book, which is all about ‘Living in the Heart’, but I understood why Drunvalo M did it this way. He is talking about something proven scientifically which actually worked before going on and this is my next section to read, about cleansing the air with the human light body.

This may seem incredibly far-fetched to some of you reading this blog, but believe me the heart vortex and the human aura is a huge mass of energy with incredible power, if you know how to use it properly. Dunvalo says in his introduction, ‘that he wants to remind us all, how incredibly powerful we actually are as humans with so much more at our disposal than we realize. This book is to remind you who you really are. Because within your heart is a sacred place where the world can literally be re-made, repaired etc., through a conscious connection’. I have heard similar words before. It reminded me of everything I had been taught at an early age, and that life anno 2018 is not so much about doing things on your own, for yourself, but so much more about doing things for the greater good of everyone. In order words, the bigger ‘me’ becomes the greater ‘we’.

This book is important to me and I cannot wait to read on, I know that it will give me that final piece of guidance I am looking for before I literally give my life into the hands of my own cardiologist (who thankfully is very open to this subject too). It will be that last piece of information I was looking for on my own personal journey. Drunvalo says in his introduction that: ‘within the experience resides a great responsibility’. I agree. If you want to tap into such energy, you have to be very aware how you want to use and crystal clear as well. As I have said before, you have to be specific about the things you ask for and almost back them up with more words. The universe cannot decipher vagueness.

Drunvalo says he wrote this book from the heart and not from the mind.

I love the way that the universe brings everything together in the least expected ways. One simple post on social media, leads you or me onto something even bigger and we gain even more understanding on a certain subject. It as if the universe gives you a special sign, calling your attention, making you sit up and take notice and leads you on to discovering more. So everything actually happens for a reason, whether you completely understand it or not at first, but always almost lighting the way along your path so you can proceed.

I know before I even read the next part of this book, that within are the answers I am looking for. The answers which maybe will dismiss any doubts I have about another heart operation in one lifetime (and yes I know, some people have several). But it is a major thing to undertake whatever the reason. The heart is our life force, our essence, forming at a very early age in the foetus and it goes on beating every single day, millions of times during our lifetime.

So it makes sense to me that in my heart is a sacred place, a special place where I am actually connected to the moment of creation. The moment of the creation of all of us. This place stores the memories of our soul.

Flicking through the book this morning, I see that there are all sorts of meditations, including a CD as well. I think it will be an incredible eye-opener for me personally. My quest to learn is ever on-going, there will not be a moment when I can ever say, I know everything. There would be no point if that was the case on going on a journey, a quest for your personal path. We all walk different ones, but every now and again our paths cross, whatever the reason may be, but there is always a reason.

To be continued when I have read the book …

PS. For those of you who want to read this book too, the title is ‘Living in the Heart’ Drunvalo Melchizedek, ISBN 1-891824-43-0 (Light Technology Publishing). Available through most online sites.


(Something a little bit different)

It was late summer last year, when my friend Dee and I agreed to make time for a visit to a wellness centre. Just the two of us, and full-on treatments and saunas. As is always the case, actually planning a date and combining two diaries (one of which is very busy), it was eventually the New Year and still no concrete plans!

Then suddenly a great offer online for 2 days at Wellness Centre ‘Zwaluwhoeve’ (which in Dutch means Swallow’s Farm) and a hotel for one night next door. So incredibly cheap we could hardly believe it, so we made a reservation. We are going!

One cold, dark January Wednesday morning off we went, ready to tackle the rush hour traffic on one of the busiest motorways in the country, with our bags, trolleys, beauty cases and such like. It is only when you go away that you realise how many things you need from your bathroom each day! We got there much sooner than we anticipated and had time for a ‘pick me up’ coffee and tea as well.

Checking in, goodness me there are a lot of people arriving here as well. The, only minutes ago, empty car park is now full! Armed with our towelling robes, a stack of towels, plastic bags to carry our things around it all day and the locker key, we went up to the changing room. Even busier up here and sub-tropical temperatures, so you are really glad to get out of your clothing.

After a quick visit to the rest room, then downstairs, with towels and bags, wearing almost impossible to walk in slippers too, we studied the map we had received at the reception.

Where to start? There is so much to do and we have two ‘special treatments’ planned for today as well. Hope there is a clock somewhere because all feeling of time has completely disappeared here in this wellness world.

Having walked round in circles several times, up and down different corridors, we decided to start our day in the herbal bath. Off go the towelling robes, and slowly we go down some extremely slippery steps into warm water and the most delicious herbal aroma filling the air. Despite the huge signs everywhere, saying ‘Silence Please’, everyone is busy chatting.

After our skin has gone wrinkly, we have sat there for quite a while; we take ourselves off to the Sandalwood Sauna, mainly to dry off.

Within seconds, there is perspiration flowing down my entire body. Dee says she doesn’t even feel that warm yet!

We then meander back to the showers, get lost again and decide as it is noon by now, where has the time gone? And yes, we finally found a clock, off for lunch in the restaurant, mainly before the crowds come in and also we have a ‘treatment’ planned for 1pm.

I am so thirsty despite the bottle of Green Tea I have with me, which is empty and I have already filled once with fresh water, and a delicious cheese sandwich on really tasty bread goes down very well.

Off to the rasul, if we can find it. I must remember to tell the woman at reception that it might be easier for guests if you got a copy of the map beforehand, this needs a complete study before you arrive, this complex is so vast! We have all forgotten map reading these days with our ‘sat-nav’s’, which get us everywhere.

10 people (including us) waiting for the rasul. First of all a total scrub with some really scratchy, grain like stuff, and yes, please help one another with your backs, there is a choice of 4 things which we can coat our bodies with: Clay, Coconut, Orange or Chocolate. Each one has a different effect on the skin, from detoxifying, to neutralizing, softening or feeding the skin, the human body’s largest organ let’s be honest. It’s when the man who is holding out the dishes asks: ‘Anyone like a Bounty?’ (A mix of chocolate and coconut) my mind is made up and Dee goes for the Clay. In a darkened room, we plaster the stuff over our bodies and then sit down on a stone bench. Within seconds the room is filled with hot steam and the concoction which we have spread everywhere slowly begins to melt and run into every single crevice. It is incredibly hot; we actually cannot see one another anymore. A few lightening flashes and rumble of thunder and on goes the water. It takes simply ages to actually rinse off this mixture, which has gone from thick cream to slippery, slimy goo!

Eventually when we are dry and re-robed, a cool fresh glass of iced fruit water makes us all feel human again but our skin, oh my goodness, as soft as a baby’s bottom!!

On our way in, we noticed that there is a session planned with singing bowls, including tea that afternoon, but first of all we have to find our way back to the Reception to book. Five people later and consulting our map yet again, we eventually arrive back where our day began at the Reception. ‘Sorry full,’ says the Receptionist and we make our way back to the sauna with the Northern Lights, over 80oC and very hot.

Red-faced like two lobsters, we go out into the fresh air, deciding that it might be better to cool off in the garden than in the deep-freezing cold plunge pool. Not for the faint hearted at all! At that moment, the largest sauna of all spills out a lot of people who look as if they have been boiled in water and they stand there naked in the wind to cool off. I think we will give that one a miss, when we hear them talking about the buckets of ice which has been doused all over them during the cooling down session.

It’s now time for our second treatment and there we go again, with our map, now trying to find the section called ‘Beauty’. We have time and eventually we find it and sit down in the waiting area, actually glad to have a rest. Yes, a wellness day can be quite busy but we both feel that we are giving our bodies and our minds a rest, despite the non-stop talking.

It is then that you realize that a day (or two) out with one of your best friends is incredibly rejuvenating. When you talk about literally everything without any form of judgment and any subject, no matter how important or trivial. You can talk about the things that you often worry about, yes this my friends, is relax, release and rejuvenation of the mind! The added extra is that your body is getting the same!

I have chosen for a Ceylon Massage of my back, neck and shoulders, Dee had gone for the Indian message of head, shoulders and neck. Within seconds I am floating off into another world, this is so incredibly relaxing. The woman who is working thick Shea Butter into my skin has already said that she can see that I am someone who spends a lot of time sitting behind my laptop. How true!

She kneads the knots and such like out of my neck and shoulders and to be honest I would have been quite happy to lie there and have a sleep for a couple of hours. But as it always the case, just as you sink into the most relaxed state of all, the session comes to an end and you have to get up and go.

Thirst brings us back into the restaurant area and we go for a thick, chilled fruit smoothie, which is just delicious. Sitting there gazing out of the floor to ceiling windows we see that the new warm salt water pool, right in front of us and outside is empty, so off we go again. It is much colder now and dusk is descending, as we leave our robes and bags and step into the pool. No one else there, a private moment then? The water is wonderful, warm but not too hot, despite the steam rising all around us. It is so salty it is hard to keep your feet on the bottom of the pool. Dee suddenly starts laughing out aloud as she notices that everything that normally hangs down, following the law of gravity, is uplifted! Yes, we suddenly have perky breasts again and no rolls around our tummies. We laugh so much that a group of 4 women who have just stepped into the pool ask us: ‘what is so funny?’ We can hardly reply we are laughing so much, but when we tell them, the same thing happens of course. Wow this is amazing! If only it was something that remained the same always. No more lifts or Botox, a hot warm salty pool gives you a moment of the eternal youth!

By the time we eventually get out and my Goodness it is freezing in the fresh air now and we hastily put on our robes, we decide one more sauna, not too hot, to dry ourselves off before it is time for dinner.

After a delicious meal and more drinks, we are suddenly tired and decide it is maybe time to call it a day and off to our hotel room. Literally a couple of meters across the road from the wellness centre itself. It was hardly worth actually starting and moving the car. We have brought wine and some snacks. Amazing really how tiring the day has actually been, but we have done a lot.

It feels so good to lie back on the very comfortable beds; pillows propped up against the wall and have a glass of wine, which we drink far too quickly. More talking, more laughing, catch up with our social media, which has been off all day (I must do this more often it is quite wonderful not to have looked at my phone all day) we are ready for bed. Eventually under yet another conversation we both sink off into a deep sleep.
Dreams of things that are possible, things we maybe want to change in our lives, loved ones and we are both totally Zen!

Day 2

The alarm I set wakes me up. I have actually been awake a couple of time in the night, but this bed is soft and after turning over, sleep continues. A quick shower and an easy snack type breakfast in our room with the things we brought with us, day 2 begins once more in the reception. Fresh robes, new towels, a new map and our ‘special treatment’ of today, the Haman!

You might think having been here all day yesterday that we might have found our way around this web of corridors and rooms, but we have to consult the map yet again to find the rose sauna, the scent of summer roses and soft music sounds ideal. Having spent another half hour in our favourite herbal pool. Today is a day when you are obliged to wear bathing suits and such like. We both agree it feels very different and the people are different too as well. Perhaps a younger group more couples as opposed to yesterday when the majority were women and older men.

The Haman is amazing! It is an ancient ritual of cleaning both the body and the mind and where people socialized as well, not that a conversation is possible. First of all a really rigorous scrub, and then being completely soaped and massaged with olive oil soap. Bubbles which are massive and you can feel as if you are totally immersed in a world of soft soapy bubbles. The massage is good too, and then copper bowls of warm water to wash it all away and then the impossible, trying to turn over and sit up on a very slippery marble high table, when more bowls of water are sluiced all over you. Sadly its time to go, and we make our way back out of this warm little haven, back into what actually turns out to be a mild spring like day. The wind has dropped; being outside is really pleasant today.

Sorry to have to leave around lunch time for another appointment, but we both agree, this has been a wonderful retreat and definitely something we are going to repeat at least every 3 months. We promise one another that. This is really how to relax, take yourself away from the hum-drum of your every day life, shed your clothing and wander around all day in a warm cosy towelling robe and throw any inhibitions to the wind. Talk, knowing that everything you tell one another is just between the two of you, there is no form of comment (apart from positive advice) no criticism, no feeling that you have to rush and do something else this is really relaxing, releasing and rejuvenating not only your body but also your mind.

We thoroughly recommend!!

Back at home, back into the normal routine, I still feel very ‘Zen’, calm and totally rested, so much so, I actually admit I am tired and decide to give myself another day to acclimatize and not do a lot. This feels good, this relaxed state of mind. My skin feels totally amazing, not a rough patch anywhere and incredibly soft.

Can’t wait to go again……


Just a short blog this morning. I hardly have opened my eyes before I am inundated with messages on social media that this is the ‘most depressing day’ of the year – Blue Monday. Having now opened the blinds, yes it does not look the most appealing day I agree, windy, cold, grey and threat of rain (here in Holland), but come on … why I am almost having to be brainwashed with the idea that today is going to be an awful day, nothing is going to go right, it’s depressing and so on. Well if I allowed all this social media and also the newspapers and television (morning news) are running the same story, to get to me, I may as well just go back to bed and forget the whole day and get up afresh tomorrow.

Where does this rubbish come from? Loads of so-called experts have come to the opinion all over the world that today of all days, is Blue Monday. Why not Blue Friday or Blue Sunday? Why is January the month when apparently we are all ‘in a dip’?

Of course we can allow ourselves to be totally influenced by the media and by coffee time we all believe it!

I decided to look up where this idea comes from?

Well apparently Blue Monday (today 15th January 2018) is the date of the most depressing day of the year. Why I ask myself? It then goes on to say that: Blue Monday is usually on a Monday! Wow I wonder who came up with that thought?

The term Blue Monday, is as it often the case, derived from the English idea of ‘feeling blue’. Feeling blue means that you are sombre, down, or depressed. I am slowly getting to this point just reading the words!

Apparently the colour blue, which I personally associate with the word ‘peace’, comes from the shipping industry. If a ship lost its captain, the crew would put a blue band around a ship to depict their sadness. When the ship eventually came home, then people could see that the crew felt depressed by the loss of their ‘leader’.

The actual man who came up with the idea of Blue Monday is the British psychologist Cliff Amall. He made up his own scientific theory in 2005 that the Monday of the last full week of January would be a day when people were sad? Err what? It was all attached to the idea that their good resolutions had flown out of the window; the weather was bad (well at least that is true today, because since I started typing its pouring with rain too). The days are darker, shorter and guess what? Monday apparently is the first day of the working week, just in case you had missed this point somewhere along the line!!

Blue Monday is apparently a Western European/North American idea. In India for examples the Hindus’ are celebrating the midwinter time (the change over to longer days). They look at this darker period apparently half way through January, from the sunny side. From this moment on sunrise every morning will be earlier than the day before. This of course also relates to the difference between the northern and southern hemispheres. But if you like me are thinking, right let’s all go to India in January from now on, some people on the globe are actually celebrating.

Blue Monday is also known as ‘Depressing Monday’. People don’t think the word Blue is awful enough anymore to describe such a ‘bad’ day.

Right enough is enough!! The real answer is how much do you allow yourself today to be influenced by old customs and far fetched ideas. Isn’t this a day like any other start to the week when you can get out of bed in the morning being grateful for what you have. Grateful that you have a bed to get out of, instead of a piece of plastic somewhere in the middle of nowhere. That you have a job to go to which earns you the money to live? That January is like every single month of the year, it just happens to be the first one? The first one, why don’t we turn that idea around and think, yes, the first one!

I was just about to say ‘what a load of crap’ but I have to say that it is a dark day for sure, I have had to put the lights on to see my laptop better. But, I am not going to allow myself to be pulled down by some silly idea that I have to have a total depression day today. Actually I am in the flow, I am writing a new book (this happened last year 2017 at exactly the same time too). Ideas are flowing, I am being creative and yes, the weather might not be that wonderful, but I am spending my time doing something I really love, going into the fantasy world of writing. Expressing my thoughts, making a story (it’s a fictional book by the way, so no holes barred) and I am not going to go down the road of even thinking for one moment that this is a terrible day and I should not have got up in the first place.

Turn the energy around; think about all those people dancing with joy in India, they are celebrating, so why don’t we just join in? It is up to you whether you allow yourself to be dragged down into a feeling of depression, that nothing is going right, it’s a blue day, and then believe me that is exactly what will happen. You will just pick up this nonsense energy and be taken up in the flow. You can make the choice you know to think differently. Show that you are strong, you dare to not be just one of the herd!

This is such nonsense, have you ever heard of Pink Tuesday or Yellow Saturday??

Keep focussed on what your dreams are? What you want to achieve this year? Maybe some of your well intended resolutions have faded away? Is it that bad? There is always a moment like today when you can begin again isn’t there?

Come on everyone lift up your heart and don’t just go with this weird idea, which someone just came up with, medically or scientifically proven, or not? It is just an idea which mainly installs fear and fear means power. Have a think about that!

Happy, Happy Monday everyone! This is a brand new day and keep focussed.

On a more positive note and we all need that today apparently, the first new moon will occur on January 17th to be exact (marking the beginning of a new lunar cycle. The moon is between the earth and the sun, that is why we can only sometimes see the small crescent shape) and also the second full moon on the 31st January. This is really called the Blue Moon. The English saying: ‘once in a Blue Moon’ means that a big opportunity is coming and a lot of positive energy too. A really positive moment then!

Sorry Cliff Amall I think you got it all wrong.


Yesterday was a special day as far as energy was concerned. It was the 11th day of January (11.1) and as I have mentioned before 2018 is an 11-year. So yesterday literally had everything going in the right direction and I wonder how many people took advantage of it?

I mentioned in another blog that I was on an 8-day online course organised by a good friend of mine. We all started in a big group (more than 600 people) and for 8 days we did an active meditation, a small exercise and a ritual. The whole theme was to Kick-Start 2018 and also make plans and resolutions for the New Year. If you want to see more please go to and click on the Webshop under Kick-Start 2018.

Now I don’t know if you, like me, start the New Year normally with all sorts of ideas about things I am going to do differently or change! Usually by mid January all plans have either faded away or been forgotten, so this year I was really keen to try and do it differently.

Not taking hypes or trends into account, when the online workshop began we all, of course, had to make a list of our resolutions. I did. The strange thing was by the second day, I had either changed or tweaked them all. It suddenly did not sound right to make some vague statement, I had to come up with something much more personal. Every day the active meditation had a different theme, helping us to grow. I really enjoyed it.

At the end of the 8 days, and sad that it is over, I really felt that I actually would like to do it all again. That chance was offered too, the interest was so great that they are offered a ‘second time around’ on the 15th January. Those who want to do it again, plus all the new people who have enrolled, we will start again with one another.

Normally when things repeat, I find that I am easily distracted. I am so incredibly busy too one way and another. Just like last January 2017, I am writing a new book. An idea suddenly popped up in my mind and off I went. In the meantime I have just passed the 36.000 word mark, so you can probably imagine my eyes can hardly focus and my fingers are tired from the typing. But each and every day, I sit down to read my email and before I have got through everything, a thought comes up and I write another couple of chapters. And this blog had to be written in between.

This was by the way, not on my list of resolutions to write a new book. It never happens that way, suddenly the title comes up and I make a general summary of what the book is going to be about. Using special software for writer’s I add the chapters written everyday. This software is amazing and helps me where I often repeat words in a chapter not to mention giving me a summary all the time of the characters, their age, their names and such like.

This morning, I just happened to tidy up my desk, which was cluttered with all sort of pieces of paper with notes and things to do, and I came across my first list of resolutions. It was quite an eye opener, mainly because some of the things I wrote down on the 2nd January when the workshop started are no longer really relevant.
One thing I have definitely learnt from this workshop is that resolutions have to be things that are actually achievable. And even more so, things that are clear.

There is no point writing down a sentence like: ‘I want to win the lottery’ lovely as we all think that might be, it’s far too vague and the universe cannot decipher what you actually mean. You may well win a lottery perhaps the amount of money you paid for the actual ticket in the first place, or a small sum, but the jackpot is too far away, unreachable in fact. Statistics prove that. But having said this, we can and should always talk about what we think might be a dream come true. After all there is always a lucky winner too. So make your dreams big, there is nothing wrong with that!

It was a good exercise to find this first piece of paper this morning and compare it with my final list. Much more achievable things and also things I know that I can really stick at.

One of them was: ‘continuing to lose weight’. I have been working on that for quite a while. I don’t like doing it, but I know inside that the reason why I am doing it, is important. I am facing the possibility later this year in having a small heart operation. For those of you who haven’t fainted at the idea. It is something quite routine these days to stop the arrhythmia in my heart (in other words the fact that it beats irregularly).

The electrical circuit in my heart is like a labyrinth of impulses, which are all over the place. My heart is confused does not know what it is really supposed to be doing. My cardiologist has told me that the operation (ablation) will be much more successful if I lose some excess weight. So there is the goal and that is why it becomes so much easier to keep going. I have to admit I did have a bit of a respite over the Festive Season, but I have a sort of ‘deadline’ there, 13th March, my next appointment and I don’t want to sit there saying, er … sorry did not manage to keep up with my plans. I want him to think, my goodness she looks a shadow of her former self (ha-ha). In other words he has to notice that I am so much slimmer!!

This is the point I want to make about the phenomena of ‘making a new resolution’. It has to be, as I said earlier, something that you know you can achieve. If you have been a chain smoker for the majority of your life, it is scientifically impossible to just stop and think; right I won’t smoke anymore. There has to be a trigger to make you want to and that is – will power. You really have to want to; otherwise you know you will not succeed, so you may as well not even bother in the first place.

It is important if you make resolutions, to do this. Impossibilities should not be part of the equation. It should be things that you can actually do, with a reason to make you want to do it, and something that it not so drastic that you end up feeling ill or having withdrawal symptoms!

My original list of about 10 items is cut down, trimmed and pruned into 5 things. 5 things that I know I will at least have a chance of achieving.

Yesterday I was very aware of a huge surge of energy all around the world. There was a lot going on. Oprah Winfrey made a wonderful speech a few days earlier at the Golden Globes. After the fires in California, the mudslides have happened and people have lost literally everything. Not to mention those still missing.

In the country where I live (Holland) there was another earthquake in the northeast, 3.4 on the Richter scale. It is an area where they are extracting gas from the ground, and yet another quake. People need help. They want the Government to come up with some sort of plan. Something to give them the very barest basic essential; a home, a place where we feel at ease and comfortable.

Astrologically speaking yesterday there was a lot going on to. Having had a day very recently (4th January) when there was a Grand Trine of the three fire signs, Aries, Leo and Sagittarius (which basically means that the planets are in alignment and make a three sided shape) so it is time to get passionate about what you want to do this year. Then Mercury, the Messenger joins practicability (Capricorn) for two days. Thoughts are much more serious, you are more focussed on your ideas and communication with others is much more grounded than normal. You can think about what needs to be done and if you make a plan this will be highlighted. We will think more about things and also about the next steps we have to take.

I did say, 11th January 2018 was special day energy wise.

Another friend wrote in her daily post: the 11.1 date is a great day for inspiration about your true soul purpose. 11 is about the Truth. So if you have been feeling fearful about showing the world who you really are, or afraid to change something, then this is the day to release those fears and step into your power.

This was to me, all proof that my 8 day online workshop had been something much more important and it was right, each and every day, I did prune and trim my own resolutions, much along the lines written above.

What I want to achieve in 2018 is right. My list is now right and it is now up to me to inspire myself to keep going, no matter what, on some things, this is for the greater good at a later dare.

Some my question to you, dear reader today is:

Did you make resolutions and were they ones you can actually do?

Are you keeping up with what you more or less wanted to do at the beginning of this year?

Have you forgotten all about them?

If not, why not? It is perfectly OK to adjust them!

Today’s date the 12th January is all about expression and creative vibration. A great day to socialize and be with people you love. Spend time on yourself, make sure you are really using your imagination, read, write, daydream or create.

Let’s get going then! Everything is ready and in place to allow you to achieve your dreams, goals and resolutions. Why wait?

Jill Kramer
12th January 2018



For my first ‘official’ blog of 2018 I thought it might be nice to share a small part of my first romantic novel (published in 2016 both in English and Dutch) with you. There has been a fantastic amount of reactions to my WordPress blogs so far and I try and answer each and every one of them. I think at the very least that is polite when people say such nice things and ask to be added to the feed.

First of all where did the inspiration come from? Well a lot of the things in the book are my own personal experiences and some true, also the stories about the places visited, but it is a romantic fiction novel about two people Grace & Matthew.

They know one another in totally different circumstances but meet up unexpectedly at an event at the end of December 2016.

I actually attended the event ‘White Planet’ hosted by a long time friend of mine in the north of Holland. So the beginning of the story is about my own experience during that event. It was that same afternoon that I suddenly heard the title of the book in my mind. We were being asked what our goals and such like were for the New Year and I said I wanted to write something different, a novel, fiction, something that I could make up in my mind, not based on just sharing information or my own experiences.

From that moment on the book began to take form in my mind, I had a title, two main characters and I liked the idea of going from the two of them telling the story chapter by chapter. Of course I had some help too from a friend, again I did not expect this to happen, but it did and he gave me insights about his real life work, which formed the character Matthew in the book.

But in the end, no matter who was involved, this is a romantic novel and has no bearing on people in real life, hence the correct disclaimer.

It was just as if the words fell out of my fingers, I started in the New Year and it was all done and finished by the end of the month. I made a plan: set down the backbone of the book in some notes used some special writer’s software, which helps to keep me on track, and also who is who in the story. It was just as if the story was writing itself.

Sometimes I would read bits out to my own family asking them what they thought and all sorts of things happened whilst writing. For example I was just writing the part later on in the book where Grace has to drive Matthew’s Tesla car. She is hopeless, cannot start it and then my own phone went. A very good friend of mine told me a real life similar story during the conversation. I was flabbergasted to be honest; I had just done several paragraphs on exactly the same subject!

Whilst writing it was as if, each and every moment brought some sort of confirmation, or something happened, perhaps something as insignificant as a song on the radio, as if the universe was constantly sending reminders and things as if to say, this is good, keep going.

Once finished and edited by my own daughter, what better day in any year than to publish a romantic book, than on St. Valentine’s Day, 14th February and just by chance the time was exactly 14.02 when the book was literally published.

The first reactions were incredible, people loved it and a lot of my friends here in The Netherlands said they wanted to read it, but why not in Dutch. Never done that ever before. So another friend helped me with a translation and the Dutch version was published too. Date 20th July 2017. This again made a nice numerological combination(20 07 2107)

Since publication quite a number of things have happened apart from sales and good reviews. The Dutch version is nominated for the Harland Book Award 2018 (results will be available in April 2018).

Also the Central Book Library choose this book out of the hundreds published every day, and shared the first 17 pages for free via their website. This gave me a top hit on Google for a day.

Yes, the Blue House has been a real experience, in both languages and the thrill of seeing both of them side by side is quite something!

So I thought it might be nice to share the introductory pages, which copyright the text as both books have ISBN numbers (obligatory). The lovely quote from Jeff Brown at the beginning is one I love about words. He read my very first manuscript (Impossible Love) and said he liked the style and the story so much. Great encouragement, he is a well-known Canadian author with several publications to his name.

So this is really how it all began.


‘Words so powerful. They can crush the heart or heal it. They can shame the soul, or liberate it. They can shatter dreams, or energize them. They can obstruct connection, or invite it. They can create defences, or melt them.

We have to use words wisely.’

Jeff Brown ©

THE BLUE HOUSE is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictionally. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales are entirely coincidental.

Copyright © Jill Kramer 2017

All rights reserved

Published only in The Netherlands 2017 by Brave New Books

ISBN: 9789402158960

Edited by: Nelian Chabot-Kramer

Publications in other countries and Dutch translation: under negotiation

KRAMER, Jillian, Elizabeth


Where do I begin to tell the greatest love story of all time? A story that all started in a magical place: White Planet, in a high dimension far, far away from here. A serene place, totally white, beautiful and intense feelings of love are everywhere.

How can you get there? Well you can only go when you are completely ready to surrender and give in to everything. When you feel that you are at the truly right moment when you are willing to release your soul and fly free. White Planet is a place where everything is possible for everyone no matter what skin colour, race or creed.

Free your soul and allow her to visit a place, which is just amazing!

And this is how it all began!



This is a story that I would have never believe could happen unless I had actually been there.

It was the lull between Christmas and the New Year and I went to an event called White Planet. The date is 28th December 2016. White Planet is part of the Year End Celebration at the centre of my host who I have known for a long time. It’s a spiritual experience, I have been to many over the years but as he had decided to shut the centre at the end of this year, this is the absolute final event.

It was a long drive up to the north of the small country from where I live. Thick swirling mist, so much so that planes were being re-directed and airports shut but with good sense and slow speeds and the unmissable satellite navigation, which is a god-send, (I would never get anywhere without it), I arrive at the hotel I will be staying overnight and check in.

Dress code for the event is all white, logical really because that is the theme of the day. After I had checked into my hotel, and changed into my white outfit, set off once again in the even thicker mist to my destination.

The first thing that happened as I drove up into the car park was that two people got out of a very sleek sports car, one of whom I recognised immediately, a fellow member of the online workshop group I took part in 2016 and then someone I had never in my wildest dreams expected to meet at this moment in this place. Flabbergasted is I think the word I would use and total non belief that this is real, well it is for now, and I know this person well but in a totally different context.

The usual refreshments and the introductions and then the event begins. First of all we are all going to take a journey together and look back at the year that is coming to an end and decide right here and now which energy we are going take into 2017, which in fact is now only a couple of days away.

And yes, what energy do I want? – because this will set the theme for the New Year and I heard during the day that it is important not to focus on negative things that have happened this year and let’s face it, everyone can think of something negative to which we all gave far too much energy and thought to. What is the positive thought I want then to take with me into another new year?

Well actually it’s is quite easy when you think about what is your passion? What are the things that you love to do the most? Well actually I know the answer to that question because the thing I love to do the very most is to write and play around with words. Then I feel at ease and can enter a world of fantasy or facts. I was actually quite surprised that when the host of the event said that I have a talent for writing and 2017 is going to be the year when I write a book and achieve the fame I want. I actually had never thought about it that way, I write purely because I love to and not so much for best seller lists or recognition, it only takes one person to read my words and become inspired by them and that so far, has always been enough.

But it wets my appetite and the thoughts came for this book.

But back to the event …

I don’t want to go into too much detail about the first half of the event, apart from the fact that it was really excellent and food for thought, literally too because the drinks and nibbles in the intervals were excellent as well.

After a huge vegetarian dinner buffet and so much conversation that at times I forgot that I was supposed to be eating, because the initial shock has gone now and I am finding myself engaged in the most incredible conversation and hearing things that I had never expected to hear. I am so engrossed in the conversation that I don’t notice at all that a lot of new people have arrived for the second part of the event: White Planet.

Suddenly the theatre doors open and scented white smoke fills the room, which is so dense and thick. We are asked to walk into the room, which is rather difficult when you can hardly see and sit or lie down on the cushions on the floor. After the earlier experiences that afternoon of falling three times off my ‘Fatboy’ and having to have help to get up, I relented and took a chair.

We closed our eyes and in a long deep meditation made our way through dimensions in time to go to the White Planet. Deep breathing and exhaling and step-by-step we made our way. When I opened my eyes at the appropriate time, I could hardly believe what I saw, there were images everywhere, on the floor, on the ceiling, on the walls and literally everything was white. It was like being in a virtual white world and totally believable that I was actually there. I find it hard (believe it or not) to find the words to say how amazing it was. We saw images and holograms on one wall, the likes of which I have never seen before and then after a second meditation started to move our bodies in the rhythm of the music and tones.

I was suddenly aware that someone took my hand and I felt their long soft fingers entwine around mine, and the feel of someone close, moving like me, not touching, but very close. Eventually when we were told to open our eyes, it was not a surprise at all, but exactly the person I thought it might be.

Later during one of the intervals we went to the so-called ‘chill room’ to relax and move away from the music. It was just magical, completely dark apart from candlelight and on a huge sheet of glass on the floor, covered with crystal balls all reflecting the light of the candles, flickering images on the walls. I laid down on the piles of cushions and watched the laser images on the ceiling. It was all quite breathtaking and all the time I felt the same hand in mine and his physical body close to me.

I was very aware of a huge circle of light which surrounded us and just as if rays of light were shining all around. It was so peaceful and serene and a mixture of dark and light, pure energy all in one space.

The session comes to an end when the level of energy is raised even higher to bring 12 hours of magic to and end. It is just after 2am and after yet another snack and a cup of hot steaming coffee, people prepare to leave and go out into the starry dark night, and have to de-ice their cars. The mist is freezing and thick and I make my way slowly having said my goodbyes back to my hotel and get undressed and sink into bed.

My mind is swirling with the events of the day and I cannot get to sleep even though I feel physically exhausted. Eventually I drift off into interrupted short sessions of sleep to be awoken by the alarm at 08.15.

To be continued ….. in Chapter two written by Matthew

If you feel that you would like to read more?

This book (and the Dutch version) can be ordered through the site Just type my name (Jill Kramer) into the search and you will find them. Bol only sends packages out to Holland, Belgium and Germany.

If you live in another country and you want to order, please send an email to me:

Include your name and address and if you have a PayPal account, your email. This is easy method of payment and avoids exorbitant bank charges.

The price of the book is Euro 19,99 ex postage. Obviously different postage rates apply for each country.

Also attached is Chapter Two written by Matthew who has a completely different view all about White Planet.

Read on …..



Is this for real? And how many times have I asked myself this question over the past hours. I think back to that exact moment that I got out of my car and there to my amazement is one of my patients getting out of hers. Grace has always been one of my more ‘special’ patients. When I first met her way back in the summer of 2012 she had travelled a long way and also waited for a long time for a second-opinion with me. I remember that meeting well because she has such a story to tell about her heart and when I found out that she had had an operation on her heart way back in 1974 I realised that the names she spoke with such ease, had been the people who inspired me to become the cardiologist I am today.

She had a natural way with words. When I listened to her heart I remember exactly the dress she was wearing. It was a flowing summer dress, blues, lilacs and turquoise and she had a freckled tanned soft skin. She had no shame as she slipped the shoulder straps off and lay down on the couch so that I could listen to her heart. Her ECG was a mess, her heart was irregular and I could see from the echo that one of her valves was leaking slightly. I heard the faint sound of the clicking shut of her mitral valve. She fascinated me. She was the living proof all these years later that the pioneers of heart surgery were amazing at what they did.

The first thing was that I completely change her medication and arranged for a new appointment. Her complete and utter blind faith in me as she shook my hand and smiled was something that I still remember to this day. After she shut the door, I asked my assistant to get her notes from the National Heart Hospital in London, which took quite a while and I marvelled at the papers that lay in front of me: her operation notes signed by one of the most famous cardiologists in the world.

I spoke to her on the phone a few weeks later, when she came back from her holiday in Hawaii. She said she felt better and I made a new appointment to see her again.

Over the years we fell into a routine of regular check up’s and I remember each and every time I came into the waiting room to call the next patient, I would immediately see her sitting somewhere, her whole presence filled the room. She would always look up and smile and I felt myself blushing.

One particular time she was waiting in one of my clinics in the temporary building we were housed when huge building renovations going on at the hospital and the new Heart Centre was being built which would become one of the most advanced and state of art centres in the whole of Europe. It was the medical device clinic and most of the patients waiting were male and elderly. I came out of my room and there she was sitting there dressed in pale grey and a maroon coloured jacket. Her t-shirt was a mass of shining glittery things, which caught the light and her fair hair was flowing around her shoulders. I looked at her, said she was far too early but she nodded and smiled and seemed happy to just sit there and wait reading her book. I rushed through the clinic waiting for her name to be the next one on my list.

She was a joy and always made me laugh about something and after the we talked about her heart, we would always find some subject either about wine or food or holidays and I knew that I chatted on to her longer than I did with other patients. She had soft freckled hands, wore little jewellery (she did not need it) and her fingers were long and she had the most beautiful manicured fingernails.

Yes, she was a special patient for sure, she fascinated me right from the word go and also her story.

Two times we stopped and re-started her heart, it’s a pretty straight forward thing, and she always amazed me by her tenacity and most of all, her complete trust in me that everything was safe just as long as I held her heart in my hands.

I found out through social media that she was also a talented writer and she would often publish blogs and when she did one about me and how I looked after her heart, of course it became the talk of the hospital.

‘Never change a winning team’ she would always say, ‘you are the best doctor ever and I never regret for one single second that I came all this way to be your patient’.

I remember one time when she left I just had a huge urge to hug her, she was that type of person, and I asked her if I could. She laughed and said of course and as I wrapped my arms around her and felt hers around me, something stirred in me deep within. I couldn’t explain at the time.

One of her heart valves started to leak badly and at first I thought she might have to undergo a second open heart operation, but she brushed the idea aside as if to say, everything will be perfect because I know you will look after me.

I am happy to say with a change in medication her valve stopped leaking significantly and ‘our plan’ had worked, the operation was not necessary anymore and her only comment was: ‘see, I know you would just fix it all’. People may think that she was flippant but it was her total trust in me that touched me the most.

This Christmas turned out to be the worst in memory for me. I found out that my wife has been having an affair with one of my best friends and colleagues for quite some time and choose Christmas Eve of all days to tell me that she wanted a divorce and would be leaving in the New Year.
I blamed myself completely because I know I work so many hours every week and I am involved with all my patients and hospital life, but I could not understand how anyone could destroy years of memories in one short moment at the worst possible time ever of the year. We have been married for nearly 30 years and we live a comfortable life. She is the mother of my children for goodness sake, and she really wants to throw all this away?

I went and packed a bag and walked out and got in my car and went to my sister’s. No explanations whatsoever to my boys who were home from university for the holidays, and I found myself driving up northwards, totally shell shocked and wondering what on earth could possibly happen to sort out this mess. I was full of anger, I felt totally rejected and I asked myself time and time again, what have I done wrong? Why? Why now? Then the bitterness came up of how a person who I considered to be not only a colleague and a good friend could betray me like this and destroy the lives of two families? Questions and more questions and by the time I arrived at my sister house, I felt a complete and utter wreck.

Helen is my favourite sister, I have got three but she is the one I feel most comfortable with and as my car drew up at her house, she opened the front door and her arms, which I fell into and burst into tears.

What a Christmas it was and I felt guilty for forcing my presence on her and her own family, but she and I sat for hours late into the night talking and I could talk to her. Then she told me she was going to an event on the 28th and that she would phone up and get a ticket for me.

‘It will be really good for you’,

she said,

‘something completely different and you can just relax and go into a fictional world where love is the only thing you need to think about’.

Yes right, as if I want to think about love, when I feel that my own heart has been shattered to smithereens.

She managed to get the last available ticket and we set off in thick mist to this centre which was only a short drive away and as I parked my car I just could not believe my eyes who got out of the car next to mine. My English patient!!

Helen jumped out of the car, and went to her, they seemed to know one another (how??) and hugged one another as if they had been friends for a long time. As I got out of my side of the car and locked it, she turned around and her mouth fell open with surprise.

‘What on earth are you doing here?’

she asked. She was just a mass of white and glitter, she looked amazing!

Well, to say I was ‘gobsmacked’ would be putting it mildly. Helen was looking at me with a puzzled face and we went through the routine of introductions, hand shaking and walking inside.

Helen said she had been doing an online course during 2016 with Grace and that Grace actually worked with the team translating the words into English.

Of course and now I recall the one time her phone laid on my desk and I had seen her screen saver, which was one of the images I was now looking at on the wall in front of me.

With so many people arriving there was little time to talk and when the event started I could only look ahead and see the back of Grace’s head as she was sitting two rows in front of Helen and I.

We would have to wait until the first interval to continue the conversation … so I sunk back in this huge cushion and concentrated on the words being spoken and the images I could see and what was happening to me!

To be honest I am not sure what to expect really, of course I have heard about the golden ratio and Pi, but sacred geometry – the language of the soul – ?