CRITICISM

Criticism is not something anyone likes. It can be very hurtful and unjust and even untrue. But people are prone to criticize about virtually everything these days and often we all become a ‘victim’ to it. We either get the blame for something we did not do, when someone who is protecting their own back, uses us as a ‘scapegoat’ to cover up for their mistakes or they find something to criticize you to make you feel smaller.

The thing is first of all to remind yourself that criticism is often a mirror. A person mirrors their issues and shortcomings at you. And then the best way to deal with it is to allow the mirror to do its own work and send the negativity straight back.

Criticism is often a way or rejecting someone. A lot of people will resonate with this. It’s often easier to find fault with things people do wrong than to compliment them for the things they do right. It is a form of insecurity when you constantly feel the need to criticize others. ‘Passing the buck’ is the easy way out for a lot of people instead of them taking the time to have a think about what they themselves are not doing just right.

It is a tricky subject because many factors contribute to criticism. Think about jealousy for starters. When people are jealous of you, they seem to find being critical a way of projecting their own lack. It is not fair, but many things in life are not anyway.

Tolerance is also something that can lead to criticism. When people lack tolerance, they will almost always try to mask it by criticizing someone else. It does not matter what exactly but just think about this: it’s the easy way out. By masking your own insecurity, you criticize someone else. Easy!

Often criticism is something which we can see as an expression of disapproval either on someone or something, based on the faults or mistakes perceived by the person who criticizes.

So, what is the trick to avoid criticism. Well, there is not one really, but a lot can depend on you. If you make up your mind that you always follow your own heart and do the things you want to do, irrespective of what others say, positive or negative. Of course, positive comments give you a boost, but negative ones tend to ‘take the wind out of your sails’. But as I said above, often those who criticize you about things are usually just showing their own shortcomings. As I said that is the easy way. The best thing then it ‘to duck’ when they throw it in your direction knowing in all certainly that you have done nothing wrong, you actually can’t because any mistake is a learning curve anyway, but not being a receptive for unwarranted criticism by someone else. Then it’s a good idea to let the comments wash over you and pay no attention to it. Paying attention only gives energy to the words. Reacting too. If you don’t react then the conversation has come to an end and you have the choice to walk away. Or not? 

Another way to deal with criticism is maybe to say to someone that their comments are unjust. If they are, say that exactly. But remember people (including you) are allowed to make mistakes so if you have done something wrong and they criticize you for it, just say: Yes, you are right, sorry. Then the energy is taken right out of their words. Then you don’t have to subject yourself to a torrent of comments if you don’t feel like it.

Criticism is a part of our daily lives, because let’s be honest, someone somewhere always has something to criticize another about. But looking behind the reason why they feel that need is the clue and that is often their own vulnerability. The fact that they are lacking something in their lives and cannot be bothered to make an effort to change things.

And now I will let my friend take over once more to finish off this blog …

‘Haters try to expose what’s wrong with you, because they are jealous of everything that’s right about you. There are two types of people. Those who hate their life and do something about it and those who hate their life and don’t do anything about it. Which type are you?

You cannot expect to stay on the right path if you are walking away with the wrong people. Some people make themselves miserable when they can rather make themselves happy and everyone else happy. Sometimes those who act the happiest are the ones going through the most.

I admire people who choose to shine even after all the storms they have been through. Some people come into your life and you just know that you will never be able to replace them if they left.

When the wrong people leave your life, the right things start. Sometimes the people we fear the most should be the ones closest to us. To be around those who enhance your life is called success. To enhance the lives around you is called significance. Be with people who always show you your strength and hopes and not waste time with people who constantly remind you of your failures and mistakes. Don’t chase people. Be you and do your own thing and work hard. The right people who belong in your life will come to you and stay.

Successful people build each other. They motivate, inspire and push each other. Unsuccessful people just hate, blame and complain.

The loneliest people are the kindest. The saddest people smile the brightest. The most hurt people are the wisest and the people who don’t expect from others are the happiest. People who are truly worthy would never see any good in making others feel unworthy of themselves.

People are not inclined to take great challenges just settle for something else. You spend your whole life trying to fit in and when you finally do, you realize that you are surrounded by the very people who held you down.

There isn’t a person anywhere that isn’t capable of doing more than they think. It’s so ironic that it took so much time for people to realize your real value. They come knocking right when you have finally closed your door.’

Any one final piece of advice, if you are subject to unjust criticism, just rise above it.

POOH AND PIGLET KNEW BEST!

IMAGES: GOOGLE

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Jill Kramer

Hi! I'm Jill and I'm a passionate author of books, short stories, columns and blogs.

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