FAKES AND FANTASIES

The idea for this blog came up in my mind a couple of days ago. A very popular satirical TV-presenter, Arjen Lubach, talked about ‘fantasy nets’ and algorithms on the internet. He makes the show amusing and funny, but there is so much truth in what he is saying. The subject sort of stayed in my mind. I will tell you why.

Have you ever noticed if you look something up on internet that your social media, Instagram and Facebook suddenly starts to show advertisements on exactly the things you were looking up? It doesn’t matter really what the subject is, from Christmas baubles to gardens sheds, but each and every advertisement you then see, draws your attention to that. This is because of the algorithms that Facebook (the owner of Instagram too) then bombard you with these advertisements. On that score let’s look at another angle.

How many people do you know in your own circles with an Instagram account? Virtually everyone I suspect. I will take my own account as an example: I started mine, not to post things daily about what I am having for breakfast, what I am wearing, if I am at the hairdressers or having my nails done, but more to ‘shout out’ things about, for instance, the blogs I am writing, or the books I publish. As my website is registered and protected then by copyright, it’s not really anything more that drawing it to peoples’ attention. I hardly ever publish a photo about me personally, my family, my home, much more photos of nature, of my dog or cat.

But there are other types of accounts which are so much different. First of all, we have the ‘blue tick verified’ accounts which usually belong to real influencers, like movie stars, television personalities, artists and such like and the very few who get awarded this verification because they have so many followers. 

And then there are those who are the so-called influencers. Usually very good-looking women or men, who have many followers, who are actually people they do not even know, but more the people who like the photos. Some of the photos are ones that I would never in my wildest dreams think of publishing, like for the men, naked to the waist posing in their boxer shorts, the women flouting their peachy bums or huge boobs. Anything to get attention and even more followers. Hoorah, they get thousands of views and hundreds of comments. The comments are usually in my opinion, not even worth reading, more hearts, flames of fire, kisses etc. etc.

And you get to know every single detail of their life from morning to night. Their car, their home, the food they eat, the drinks they have with friends, it’s an ongoing daily account about their lives. All for the fans! But what is the point I ask myself? What do you hope to gain? Do you think that you are popular because you get so many likes? From people you don’t even know. Come on wake up!

My golden rule as far as social media is concerned, is that the moment I see someone is following me, and I don’t know them personally I am not really interested, and the reason why is, that a lot of the accounts are actually fakes and used by scammers. Now those of you who read my blogs regularly know that I have written a lot about this subject. The way to tell if the accounts are fake or not is usually, they post a lot of photos which have the same date and they are following many, but few follow them. This is the moment to take care and before you add them into your circles, which gives them access to all your photos too: ask yourself this one simple question: do I know them personally or not? If not, then just block. Every single day I see accounts on Instagram that are using the photos of people who are more well known, where photos have been stolen and they have created a fake identity, usually the same name, but the placing of the letters just slightly different order because they know people will just be taken in by it. After all the so-called influencers which I mentioned above, probably accept literally everyone who follows them because that is why they have an account in the first place.

FAKE is a trending word right now. We have fake news, fake profiles, fake information and fantasy nets which all lure us into one thing: ‘fear’. And we all know that when people are fearful, it creates power for those who are doing it.

What is the point really pretending to be a fake? What do you hope to gain from it? Aren’t you worth so much more when you are your real authentic self? Don’t you prefer to have friends who appreciate you for who you really are. Would you really be happier in circles with genuine people or in ever increasing circles with fakes? It is something to think about isn’t it?

I have some more words on this subject but before I go any further, let’s look at the real definition: (and this in a big one!)

FAKE (an adjective)

Not genuine. An imitation. A counterfeit. Claiming to be something that you are not. A forgery. A sham. A person who falsely claims something. To pretend to feel or have an emotion, illness or injury. A jealous concern. Pretend to make an event happen. To trick or deceive someone 

And now some words for my friend, who just by chance brought this subject up too:

I came to realize that we have a lot of fake people in this world who pretend to be good and have good intentions, but in actual fact their intentions are really bad.

Fake is definitely a trending topic I agree at the moment and I have said so in the beginning of this blog.

You just have to be the government of yourself and follow your heart. You don’t have to do what someone said or follow the words of men. Some are literally devils in the form of angels.

Absolutely and I can think of many examples.

Fake is the topic at the moment I feel and there is so much which is fake, news, profiles, social media.

Yes, and the reason for this blog and sharing our thoughts again in a dialogue.

These people are basically evil and want to profit from others. They go literally to all lengths to bring another into discredit. Everyone always has something to say about everything when it concerns another person. Jealousy is a big issue and often the cause.

It’s not about who is real to your face. It is about who stays real behind your back

Very true and probably you can count these people literally on one hand.

I don’t hate my hater’s, but I will never ever surround myself with negativity. I am better than that.

True friends will not. It is always best, in my opinion to rise up above their negativity. Show you are better and even that you do not ‘care’.

It is better you speak your truth even if you voice shakes.

And no matter how scared you are of being rejected, which everyone is.

Every problem has in it the seeds of its own solution. If you don’t have any problems, you do not get any seeds

Exactly, you can only reap what you sow.

The truth requires less stress and energy than trying to cover up one’s lies. Some people are real, some people are good. Some people are fake and some people are good at being fake. The point is who do you want to be? Not what people want to see.

I always think that lies are comparable to a spiders’ web you get so caught up in the lies that it is very hard to find your way out to the truth.

No one in this world is pure or perfect. If you avoid people for their little mistakes, you will always be alone. So, judge less and love more!

Love is what the entire world needs so desperately. We all need it. We all crave it!

When you are honest from the beginning you don’t have to lie to cover up the lie you already told. Honesty is always the best policy. Don’t be afraid to show the real YOU. If people don’t like it, sorry honey it’s your loss.

Absolutely. It is so much more important to be the real you than to pose as a fake merely for popularity. It is not good for your conscience. Can you literally go to bed at night and sleep peacefully, if you have been putting yourself forward as a fake?

I would rather go on in life being me and imperfect than striving to be what someone else wants.

That to me is an important statement. We may make mistakes, no one has ever said we have to be perfect. Is there really someone out there who is? I would rather have friends and contacts who are authentic than fakes just for popularity. You?

Our true self is being who we are. Beauty is being the best possible version of yourself on the inside and on the outside

And it is perfectly OK to be vulnerable and show your true colors.

Hurt me with the truth. But never comfort me with a lie.

Exactly.

I would rather be alone than surround myself with a fake environment. 

From the words about the true meaning of fake it is virtually about deception. Trying to be something which you are not. What is the point? Does it make you a better person?

True friends say good things behind your back and bad things to your face.

Well they do and the reason is that they love you. You are important to them and they do this when they have your best interests at heart too. That is a true friend.

Speak the truth even if your voice trembles, don’t let anyone judge you by your mistakes .. they just don’t know what it takes.

No, they don’t. They do not understand that we are moving away from ‘duality and competition’. Working towards the bigger, better picture. And doing that together.

Always speak how you really feel and never be sorry for being real. I would rather be despised for my character than liked for my lack of it.

I think listening to your own inner voice is important. You know who you are. You know what your values are. If others cannot see that, it’s their problem.

I am too lazy to be fake. Being real takes a lot less effort. I don’t have to do anything apart from be myself.

It is definitely more worthwhile to be a genuine person than a fake. Being fake is just stealing or taking on a dishonest identity. Fakes are lazy, and by that I mean, they steal other’s images, other people’s identity. Always thinking they are better.

Sometimes the things we say sarcastically, are what we are really thinking deep down. Always be yourself despite what other’s think. If you are not selling the real you to people you are selling yourself short.

Personally, I have no admiration for sarcasm. It is trying to be too clever to hide your own shortcomings. It hurts other people, there is no love really in sarcasm. And the big question: why would you choose to knowingly undersell yourself? That baffles me totally.

(Thank you to my friend for his inspiration during this dialogue, we did that live yesterday).

So, I hope reading through, you have more or less come to the conclusion that being a fake or using something fake is really not right and actually quite pathetic. Why would you do this? Wouldn’t you want to be seen as someone genuine and true. Someone who speaks their truth, listens to your truth and has a genuine interest for you personally. Or do you want to go through life as a ‘poser’ with all your followers and fans, who are virtually people you don’t even know. Tell me what the value is in that then? Absolutely none. Does it make you better than the rest? No it doesn’t because it is not real.

You will be much more appreciated and loved if you portray yourself for the person you really are. The true authentic you is worth so much more than a fake!

The clocks go back this weekend as we step into wintertime, in the Northern Hemisphere and into the summer in the southern. Why not take that extra time to look at your own social media accounts, tidy them up and maybe be more critical about what you post from now on and who you follow and who follows you?

I can guarantee you will be surprised, if not horrified.

Happy Weekend everyone.

Special thanks again to my friend for his contribution, which is always hugely appreciated.

Images: Google

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Jill Kramer

Hi! I'm Jill and I'm a passionate author of books, short stories, columns and blogs.

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