Interesting theory depending on which context you think about this. You know that if you react to something, whatever it is that you are more than likely to provoke a reaction.

As I was about to start this blog, a quote came up on my phone which I think is quite relevant, from Eckhart Tolle: He says: “Sometimes surrender means giving up trying to understand and becoming comfortable about not knowing”. 

Hmm, true in a lot of cases.

My example today was going to be about a rather nasty email I received from someone over the weekend, and I suppose I must blame myself for provoking the reaction. I did not understand what was going on and said this in an email and to be honest I am a bit tired of the initiative always having to come from me in the first place. The last contact was in the winter of 2022, a birthday message from me to them, pretty normal you would think and despite the invitation to pop in for a cuppa, I declined as a thick November fog/mist was in my area and not exactly the day to get in the car and drive an hour just for a cuppa.  I thanked them for the invite and explained the weather situation.

From that moment on, heard nothing more.  I don’t understand and yes of course you are probably thinking I could have messaged, rung up or whatever, but why does the initiative always have to come from me. That is something I have noticed a lot recently that I am always the one sending messages etc.

So, as it is now 6 months later, I decided to send an email asking if I had done something wrong? It surprised me that after 20 odd years of friendship that there had been silence for so long, but should my conclusion be that the said friendship was over?

Yes, I know everyone is too busy now. Gone are the days when we wrote a letter, everything is digital these days and be honest, if we send an app, we almost expect an answer immediately. Yes?

I didn’t think that my email was particularly fiery and believe me I can write ones like that if I feel so inclined, more a questioning type of message. The reply I got a couple of days later, was so vile and vicious, that after one read, I binned it. Basically, it is all my fault, why I am still not sure, and I will spare you the details, but my hunch was right, the friendship has sort of fizzled out even though I was left with many questions. It was upsetting for sure, but the same day my horoscope predicted a very similar situation and told me that it was truly time to move on. And then came the thought, should I reply, or not?

Hence the title of this blog. If I had replied I would almost have been inviting a further reaction and to be honest one was enough. And I took the decision to just let it go.

Later same day I was working on some texts and came across something very similar. This is interesting and I think everyone can relate to this at the moment.

We as humans are evolving with huge rapidity. We have come out of an age where ‘suffering’ and ‘paying for your mistakes’ was a big issue. This made us all fearful and afraid of rejection. With the new age, it is not about this anymore. It is all about being your authentic self and sometimes even making yourself vulnerable. Isn’t that basically why you have friends? People you feel totally at ease with and can share your inner thoughts? I think so, maybe others don’t.

In the same email I mentioned above, I was accused of ‘lamenting’ so much about my personal situation, they felt there was no time to talk about their problems. This I thought was untrue, but hey, everyone has the right to their own opinion, but my suggestion is keeping your own opinion to yourself if it’s hurtful, it serves no purpose whatsoever to ‘reject’ another in the same way. That time is over! If we don’t realize this and keep going over the same ground again and again, we will continue to be stuck in the mud and make no growth at all.

The whole point is that we as humans and soul beings want to grow. That is why we came here and why we wanted to have the experience. As another friend of mine said: you can spend your life sitting in a chair or you can leap up and crash through all the barriers! May sound strange, but as long as you keep postponing your growth by not living your dream or desire, that is not ok.

So, what is your dream or desire? How do you achieve it? Many people ask themselves this question and try to answer from their minds and not their feelings. End result is that you may think you are in a transformation process, giving yourself a big pat on the back that you know better than the rest, but in fact you keep falling into the same pitfalls over and over again. There are no guidelines or instructions how to do this, you must feel and follow not only your heart but also your gut instinct. Don’t over complicate things but trying too hard, often just setting the intention is enough. No one has all the answers straightaway. Truly.

So, to come back to the beginning of my blog, another important thing is to realize if the people in your life, from family, friends, acquaintances, colleagues or whatever are no longer resonating with you, then you need to be brave and face up to it which is basically what Eckart Tolle says in his quote. We may all be on a journey but that doesn’t say we are at the same station or even on the same train, theoretically. Our life path is personal, and some run all the way and with success too, whilst others go at a much slower pace. Nothing is wrong or right. You just need to be true to your feeling.

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Jill Kramer

Hi! I'm Jill and I'm a passionate author of books, short stories, columns and blogs.

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